THE JO-TEL … illegal blog downfield

Germany has declared war on Russia. -Swimming in the afternoon.

-Kafka, journal entry August 2, 1914

#14

This odds-and-ends feature of mine used to be called “Varietals” on the old jo-tel. I am changing the name from “Varietals”, which is a word that yuppies use to describe different types of wine, to “Transvaluation of All Values”, which is the phrase that Nietzsche coined to describe his (uncompleted) project to reevaluate all cultural institutions that impede the exaltation of life.

View the posts formerly known as Varietals I, II, III, and IV.

#15

I’m sure I’m going to get plenty of opposition to the following opinion from TV-heads that like to watch that stupid motorcycle show where the dudes with handlebar mustaches spend an episode building a stupid-looking bike, but seriously: what’s the deal with the custom motorcycles these days. It seems like everyday on the highway I see one of these monstrosities: handlebars raised two feet about the rider’s head and foot-stands extended to the farthest possible extremity so that the heel of the rider’s snakeskin boot can just barely touch them. The result being that the rider looks like a lab experiment, splayed out and ready for dissection right there on the highway.

The first point is obvious: these things are so impractical it’s almost a joke. In fact, I think that might be the joke. But I’m not so cracked up about these riders daring me to graze them and test the limits of my auto insurance’s third-party medical coverage. I’m not alone. Most cars react to these bikes by moving as far as the lanes and traffic will allow, because we all know that these silly custom hogs will be about as deft as a starfish on sedatives at avoiding peril in the road. But, second, even disregarding the safety factor, since when did it become cool to ride a motorcycle in an incredibly awkward looking position? I know that Peter Fonda was a badass in Easy Rider. But his bike was within the realm of credibility. The handlebars were raised, yes, but Fonda was not reclined like a mental ward patient waiting for the electro-shock treatment like these new riders. Just sayin’.

#16

Viewed today: license plate frame stating “I’d rather be/ LOST”. What a low point for the species!

#17

I went bowling yesterday with my work (I am not a yuppie) and was reminded of how awkward and unsatisfying bowling is. One of the main problems with it is that (a) in most non-professional instances it is played in tandem by both women and men and (b) it is not a game that necessarily rewards a man’s brute strength and athleticism, which is to say, a novice girl bowler can beat a novice guy bowler a lot of the time. This is why bowling is a terribly awkward date activity. Both the girl and the guy want the guy to play a very guy-like role in the date, namely: be in control, be willful, be manly. But a guy who is losing to his date in bowling is in a predicament. Even if the guy tells himself he doesn’t care at all and makes all the necessary prefatory comments to his date about how he sucks at bowling, when he is losing to his date it is still hard to not appear emasculated by it. Which results in the guy getting both serious and nervous about the whole bowling situation — neither of which help his jocularity. Finally, is there any more degrading moment than when you roll a bad ball and half turn to walk back to your seat, but then pause, awkwardly, to glance over your shoulder and see if the ball maybe hits a pin or two? Maybe I should learn to do that spin thing.

-Shark