THE JO-TEL … illegal blog downfield

This was a strange, strange weekend at the jo-tel. It’s hard to explain but an air of sadness, change, and drunkenness was palpable. The Stick and Thrill graced me with write-ups, which I have partially redacted and provide here so that you all can vote on which is “better”. Vote in the comments sections. Whoever gets more votes will win a naked picture of my penis in his gmail account. This is for all the marbles!

-Shark
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Thrill

FRIDAY NIGHT - drinks with Reid and Sosia in the Lower Haight. Ran into Dusty (familiar to current Jo-Teliers) at Waziema. Cabbed it home just after 2. Passed the fuck out like it was my job.

SATURDAY NIGHT - dinner with Shark, Patso, and a Shanny-less D. Then vodka and music at the Jo-Tel (good… times) and an aborted trip by me and Shark to meet up with K-Did at (drumroll, please) The Gangway. The assurance that the party was not being held at a gay bar quickly fell apart when we realized that it was at perhaps the gayest bar in SF. We went instead to Edinburgh Castle, where we randomly ran into Raph, I accidentally dropped my glasses (my GLAAAAAAAAAAsses!!) from the balcony onto a gaggle of bitches, and I got blacked-out drunk on whiskey/sodas. If the bowl in my room and the empty pot on the stove were any indication the next morning, much macaroni and cheese was consumed upon my return home.

The Stick

FRIDAY NIGHT - wallowed in self pity over getting laid off on Friday morning…again! I started drinking. Now I’ve never been one to drink by myself, but in this instance I was feeling pretty terrible. Also it wasn’t actually night it was 7:00am. See I had just gotten off of work. which made it feel like night time. I started off with a beer watching the morning show. Al Roker has become totally lame now that he eats healthy. After I finished the three remaining beers in the fridge it was roughly 7:30am and I began pulling things off of shelves. This is when I found the bottle of scotch. I laid down on the couch and started taking swigs from the bottle, when my roommates were suddenly scurrying about getting ready for work. Their looks were of unease at my drunkenness. Alex told me I made a pass at her and Megan said I took my pants off in front of her. I don’t actually remember any of this. I’m a lush. I passed out naked on the couch and was awoken at 5:00pm by my roommates when they got home from work. I walked upstairs and went back to sleep.

SATURDAY MORNING - Woke up at about 6:30am. I was physically exhausted, my jaw hurt, and I was still naked. I got in the shower and curled in the corner sobbing as the water beat down on my head. I then got dressed and went to this diner I frequent. The cute girl I hit on who waits on me at the counter told me I wasn’t my unusual upbeat self. I pondered asking her out and then remembered their is a good possibility that she is 16 and I probably should still wait two years. I walked down to the beach and watched the surfers ride the shitty waves. I was glad to not be freezing in the water. I went home and cleaned my room. Got in my car and drove to a flip cup tournament to raise money for the homeless children of Southern California. Their was a six game round robin in the beginning for place on the bracket. All teams were picked at random, my team had a not so hot girl on it who had never played flip cup before. Needless to say we lost. I lost. I proceeded to get drunk again. I started crying at the bar, my friends took me home where I went to my room and passed out.

SUNDAY MORNING - Woke up naked again, my pillow wet with tears. I turned on Halo 3 and didn’t move from my bed the entire day.