Everyday weekday morning when I read Pitchfork Media, the biggest online music review site, I experience of mixed bag of emotions. On the one hand, I am greeted with various niceties, including: intriguing revelations regarding new music; Pitchfork’s take on leaked albums that I’ve already digested; or a new William Bowers column. At the same, I am almost always confronted with an impossibly annoying misuse of the word “sonic”.
From m-w.com:
Main Entry: son·ic
Pronunciation: \?sä-nik\
Function: adjective
Date: 1923
1: utilizing, produced by, or relating to sound waves; broadly : of or involving sound
“Of or involving sound.” It does seem pretty simple doesn’t it. Also, notice the form of speech. IT’S AN ADJECTIVE!!!
Real life quotes from Pitchfork:
“Eschewing Deerhunter’s traditional rock instrumentation, Atlas Sound spans a wide range of sonics on the debut Let the Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel.”
“Bjork talks about the politics and sonics of Volta.”
First of all, using “sonics” as a noun is incorrect. There’s that. Second, and most disturbingly, it’s incredibly annoying to use the word “sonics” at all. Essentially it is filthy tactic to make it sound as if you, the writer, is making a more intricate, descriptive statement than you actually are. The “sonics of Volta“? Oh you mean “the sound of Volta“. Or maybe just “Volta“. She’s going to talk about her album. It is full of sounds. In the Deerhunter blurb, please describe how “sonics” means another other than “sounds”. Then tell me, dude, why you chose the more obscure sounding word….
I mean, here’s the real problem. The words “sonic” even when used properly is REALLY annoying the context of music criticism. But if critics want to sound like fucktards, I leave them be. But the minute their fucktardary violates the laws of the dictionary, then they are fucked. Pitchfork, this post is the sound of me fucking you.
The only time I really want to hear “sonic” is when Guile is about to hurt a fire ball.
-Shark
10 responses so far ↓
Chanon // May 14, 2008 at 12:44 pm
The jo-tel esta en fuego.
Turd Ferguson // May 14, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Sonic is also the name of some fast food chain that airs commercials all over my TV, yet I’ve never seen one.
Clay Bennett // May 14, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Thank you kind sir. Now if someone would tell all those assholes in Seattle that this is why I am renaming their basketball team and moving them to Oklahoma City.
Thrill // May 14, 2008 at 1:50 pm
I finally saw a Sonic when I was in North Carolina for work. It wasn’t as good as the commercials made it seem. (Shocker, I know.)
Hip E. // May 14, 2008 at 3:32 pm
I saw a Sonic on the way from Manchester, Tennessee to the Nashville airport after Bonnaroo 2003. I ate there, but can’t remember a single thing about it except that I had finally seen a Sonic in person.
Trey // May 14, 2008 at 4:30 pm
A Street Fighter reference near the end?
I thought The Shark HATED video games. I mean, he spewed so much vitriol for Mario Kart on Sunday…
I call “Hypocrite!”
Shark // May 14, 2008 at 5:06 pm
I liked video games when I was a kid.
Turd Ferguson // May 15, 2008 at 8:58 am
Guile doesn’t shoot a fireball. Its more of a boomerang shaped electronic blast.
Shark // May 15, 2008 at 11:16 am
Let’s not split hairs here.
Hip E. // May 15, 2008 at 1:09 pm
That’s what Chun Lee said.
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