THE JO-TEL …believes some of what Nathaniel and John say, but believes England is still our sovreign

First off, Happy birthday to Arianna Huffington. July 15th. Great day for America.

Sunday Reading. I always say something like “I’ll cut to the chase,” or “Let’s jump right in,” but I never jump right in. But that’s okay because these are the only things I ever post. Obligation is a great force in blogging. I’m pretty sure if someone said “I’ll pay you a dollar for every blog you post,” that would pretty much increase my blogging by 20% minimum. Argh. Just right now I realized that I just spent money at Starbucks when I had a gift card in my wallet (thanks, mom). Which isn’t that big a deal I guess since all I did was basically spend $3.50 a few weeks earlier that it would have otherwise been spent. But when is that realization not disheartening? Okay, let’s just jump right in.

I love Joanna Newsom. She is great, and not just because she is a top-shelf Flyza — I think I’ve mentioned that Beth Ditto is my cell phone wallpaper. Here is an Internet-type questionnaire on pitchfork. And here is an article from some magazine (look out, it’s a .pdf). Starts on page 12.

I’ve done a few of these without once going the easy route with the Onion. That’s because I forget that it exists for months at a time. But the week I come back, I find that the two new editorials are by Jim Anchower and Smoove-B, respectively … and the two are connected! Jim Anchower is like some Downs/Hip E./Jefferson hybrid and Smoove-B is like, basically Walloch.

Interesting shit from Slate: a William Saletan column with the latest and greatest on abortion! Fun and a learning experience … I mean the article. It contains this line, which is funny out of context: “To discuss the ethics of aborting extra fetuses, click here.” Also from Slate, an old article about how ninjas took over pop culture. I think now would be a good time to mention that “You Only Live Twice” is the only Bond movie I own. It’s like Bond accidentally stared in an ’80s teen comedy, but with ninjas. The top 5 Bond movies are: 1) You Only Live Twice 2) Diamonds Are Forever 3) Goldfinger 4) Every other Connery Bond except Never Say Never Again 5) License to Kill.

It’s late.

A speech by Douglas Adams, who wrote that one book that became a bad movie with Zoey Deschanel, who I still can’t decide is hot … or not.

Article from the Sierra Club about how Americans in the 40s were better environmentalists than us. Good if only for the posters.

For Hip E., article about the NBA champion ‘77 Blazers. Sam Bowie.

And finally, facts about the age of the earth, and how we know it, in case you have like, a wedding in Mississippi. All the facts that T-Tops doesn’t want you to know.

-PETE