66% of THE JO-TEL is “losing it Scalia style”

Okay, so don’t ask why, but recently I’ve been reading a lot about pick-up lines. I’ve been going through several books, and this one book I found is pretty much the new “ripping at your mind” for me. (Linda, shout out. I tried to find that post but couldn’t. The old Jo-Tel is just so darn unsearchable!) The pick-up lines pretty much speak for themselves here, but occasionally the author thinks it meet to explain the nuances of his bon mots. This is completely real, in a book that is for sale, and that at least one person has bought (disclaimer: not me). All pick-up lines and explanations are [sic].

If 2 + 2 is 4 how come 10 keeps coming into my mind?
* For those in the don’t know: the “10” mentioned above is in reference to man’s rating system for women in which a “Perfect 10” is the top score a woman can receive.

Have you ever met a man that was bent?
* For those in the don’t know: bent’s common definition is “corrupt” but a few men have a unit that when erect is “bent” like a boomerang. Let the girl take it where she wants to take it.

I like to take things slow, like the download time of a graphic intense, flash built website with dial up.
* She’ll love your Internet analogy.

How big is your monitors?
* The grammatical error here is on purpose because by saying monitors instead of monitor you are humorously hinting at her tits.

Can you touch your elbows together?
* No matter whether she tells you “yes” or “no” tell her to “prove it.” That is if you want to see her push her boobs out. This is better used on the younger women because the older women have caught on to such juvenile tricks.

… and my personal favorite (so far — I’m not even half way through this thing):

Would you hold it against me if I told you I was hung like a T-Rex?
* T-Rex as in the Tyrannosaurus Rex, one of the largest dinosaurs to have ever lived.

-PETE