THE JO-TEL … illegal blog downfield

Good things that happened on Friday:

Had lunch with Karman at Absinthe. Had the burger with the fried egg and spicy onions on it. If you don’t think that sounds delicious, I understand. However, you are wrong.

Went to visit the Box Office. (Congratulations Jessica and Al).

Went to get margaritas with Emily at Chevy’s.

Went to Bar Book event, which was fun, despite the presence of car guy and Snax, who, for about the first five minutes was fine to talk to … then he tried to make fun of me for knowing who David Byrne was. Many Jouseguests were in attendance. There had been rumblings of a warm-up streak on the Network. After all, my last instance of public nudity was more than a year ago at Kristin’s cousin’s “lingerie” party. One thing I don’t have in LA is friends who like to get naked in public. But PETE, you say, Surely you at least attend the occasional underwear dance party? Sadly no. And you wonder why I never go out.

Anyways, it seemed like nobody got the memo because when I finally did take my pants off, an employee of Le Colonial informed me that I had the choice of either putting my pants back ON, or leaving. I put my pants back on. But then this happened:

Girl: Did you just have your pants off?

Me: Yeah.

Girl: Why?

Me: Why not?

Girl: … Take them off again.

Me: Okay

I got them below my knees before I got carried out of the bar. Hip E. and I walked home on our underwear. I managed to not lose anything, except Will’s key. The theme of losing other people’s shit, but managing to hold onto all mine was a theme for the weekend. Hip E.’s nefarious attempt to send me unwittingly into Megan from the Belltower’s bar was thwarted, but that would’ve been awesome.

At one point we passed a group of transvestite hookers. And these weren’t the friendly, gregarious, (and reasonably priced!) transvestite hookers of North Beach, but the surly, world-weary transvestite hookers of the Tender Nob. I remarked that it would be a shame were we to steal any of their business. They remarked that they weren’t worried, since they, I forget the exact phrasing, but basically because they had more to “offer.”

Now, at first I was insulted, but then it occurred to me that a TSTV selling sex for money isn’t going to be doing much business without that. That’s like owning a J-Box that closes at 9. Well, since I’m a wordsmith by trade, here’s the comeback I wish I’d thought of at the time

“Hey transvestite hooker, yeah I see you reading that community college program guide, but somehow, I’m not worried either.”

Needless to say, I was hung over Saturday.

Stay tuned (hopefully) for more perspectives on this epic weekend from Hip E., Shark, and Will … and Johnny D, I think YOU should post about Saturday. If nothing else, how clutch was that hoodie?

-PETE