THE JO-TEL …believes some of what Nathaniel and John say, but believes England is still our sovreign

I helped Hilary's dad install our new air conditioner yesterday. It's one of those stand-alone units where you just connect a dryer-like tube to the back of the unit and throw the other end out the window and bam. A couple of notes.

1) Here is a picture of the thing. It's massive and looks like a robot. It's pretty disappointing that it doesn't talk or beat me in chess. The least they could've done is like, make it talk out the temperature changes and modes and stuff in a Kraftwerk voice.

Now entering "Mega Cool" mode.

There is a mode actually called MegaCool, and a LED that lights up green on the front panel that says MegaCool. This feature makes A/C robot's lack of a voice all the more disheartening.

2) Before we could install the window tube, we had to crowbar open some paint-sealed windows in Hilary's room. They were sealed with paint from both sides. Maybe the Jo-Tel and the Jo-Tel south have the same landlord, who employs the same crew of Chinese relatives to swing from the roof with ropes tied haphazardly around their wastes,  slapping paint on sill and frame with wanton disregard for ensuring future proper operation of said window, leaving small pools of "wat" paint to coagulate in the track. Really brought back some memories.

3) The unit is calibrated to cool rooms up to 450 sq. ft., which is roughly the size of our apartment, though I expect that instead of cooling our entire apartment to a reasonable temperature, it will just cool Hilary's room to a hypothermia-inducing degree, while leaving me, a mere 50 sq. ft. away, sweating through the couch, and crying tears of bitterness over the power bill, which I predict will make Reid's constant running of the in-wall heater look like an act of charity.

4) Crowbarring shit is really fun, and I wish there were more everyday uses for the crowbar.

5) I have not had air conditioning of any sort in any place I've lived since moving out of my parent's house. I don't even have it in my car. I've forgotten what it was like to be cool at anytime other than drinking expensive coffee or shopping. Which reminds me, I went to target yesterday to buy an iron … (to be continued!)

-PETE

PS: I opted not to do a Sunday Reading column thsi week because I clicked on my name on the menu bar, which led me directly tot eh depressing realization that I haven't done a NON-Sunday reading post in over a month. If some other Jo-Telier wanted to assume the mantle for teh week, I wouldn't be opposed.