If you get diabetes you can’t drink anymore. That would suck. Same with if you have high blood pressure. So I’ve decided that, while I eat rather healthy, I would like to just be extra healthy just in case, because I really want to drink for the rest of my life. This is particularly important to me because I’ve decided to take the environmental and social high road and curb the destruction of the Rain Forest and the exponential increase in population by altruistically deciding to never ever ever have kids. So I won’t really have a designated individual to take care of me when I get old. So I’m going to need some booze. Which means I need to make sure to not eat processed sweets like cookies, cake, and Fun Dip. I also need to cut back on cholesterol by reducing egg and red meet intake. I want to have a healthy heart. Because we all know that my liver will not be that healthy.
-Shark
6 responses so far ↓
Johnny D // May 22, 2008 at 2:13 pm
I heard that you wanted to never ever ever play video games so that you never had to tell YOUR kids that you played video games instead of getting drunk.
Big Cat // May 22, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Good take, good topic. Rack him.
Hip E. // May 22, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Johnny D., I’ve read your comment four times now. And I’m pretty sure it doesn’t make sense. Shark wanted to NOT play video games so that he would never have to tell his kids that he played video games instead of getting drunk. So you’re saying that he would have been embarrassed that he was playing video games instead of getting drunk? So he would prefer his kids to get drunk rather than play video games? Shark isn’t even having kids!
BTW, I am on the record as advocating for Shark and Patsy to have 1-2 children. Unreservedly. Gotta happen.
2007 // May 22, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Big Cat, I like your blog.
Johnny D // May 22, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Shark admitted to wanting kids, is the point of the comment. However, what I was saying is that Shark wants to be able to tell his kids that he never missed an opportunity to get drunk because he was playing a dumb video game.
Katon Rouge // May 23, 2008 at 5:46 pm
“I’m never going to get married.” - Shark in 2005
“I’m never going to have kids.” - Shark in 2008
We’ll see how long you can keep that one going as a married man. I’m calling the first one within four years and three by 2015.
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