THE JO-TEL … illegal blog downfield

I have this problem where when I’m trying to trim my sideburns or beard (in the good old days when I could wear a beard) so that they are then same shape, the left one usually looks the way I want it to but the right side tends to slope backwards. This is in spite of my damnednest efforts to make them exactly the same. I think it ultimately has to do with the mechanics of shaving on the same side of your face as the hand that holds the razor versus going to the far side. It sucks because I’m trying out a whole new kind of sideburn that I invented and have not yet named. Its debut coincided with the unveiling of my new moustache, with its subtle improvements over former moustaches. OK, back to work.

You people out there, just go about your business as you normally would. We wouldn’t want or expect you to be reading the Jo-tel in the sorry state that it’s been in for the last few months. Actually, we’ve lost a lot of respect for those of you who have stuck around. But now it’s almost summer, we’re coming back, and soon you will have no choice but to check www.jo-tel.com whenever you get bored at work.

Because, Let’s be completely honest. Right now, Turd Ferguson’s blog is like 1991 MTV to our 1995 VH1. Evil Queen Magda is like the Cal Ripken to our Len Bias. We’re still slightly better than R-Blog, but that’s only because she works full time and goes to business school and right now is probably out trying to decide between the 330ci, the A4 and the Passat. And that’s fine. I remember a time when we were better than those three blogs combined (!!!), and those days will return. But for now, dear reader, you should read only those blogs that interest you and make you happy. We will be working quietly in the background.

-Hip E.