THE JO-TEL … good intentions blogging company

“You should post about hot chicks more.”
-Pandorocker Condon.

I used to post about hot chicks a lot. I sort of stopped. The whole Lohan thing has really disillusioned me (I don’t think I’ll ever be fully prepared mentally to discuss the events of early this morning), despite the fact that it’s pretty clear at this point that I’ve come down on the “not wrong” side of her having fake boobs (Evil Queen, your claims of breast expertise are forever tarnished, and awfulplasticsurgery dot com has been exposed as the bitter tweeny nail-biters they are (now they’re accusing Megan Fox of having collagen injections!)). But I’ve received some requests to post about hot chicks again, or rather some general requests for the Jo-tel to post about hot chicks again, but with Shark only ever having managed a half-assed ode to the gentler half of the Friedberger sibs, and with Hip E. always seemingly under some sort of girlfriend-induced moratorium on posting about hot chicks (second verse, same as the first), it seems like it once again falls to me to speak for us all.

And today, I will be speaking about our unsettling crush on Emma Watson. She’s 17, so that’s not it … practically a spinster by our standards. But something about her makes me, uh … us feel creepy.

She pretty much wasn’t even on the radar until the pictures for the like, 47 Harry Potter premieres starting showing up on Wire Image. She always managed to be 1) tastefully attired 2) tastefully made up and 3) an ice-cold breezy. Once you get past the whole confusion with Emma Thompson and Emily Watson, it’s pretty much smooth sailing, though that can lead to zany cases of mistaken identity!! Plus, from what I’ve read, she’s been labeled a “diva” because she gets pissed that while filming, she can’t fully concentrate on her studies!! Compare this to the subliterate mouth-breathers populating young Hollywood who are labeled divas for throwing shit at their assistants because their ice wasn’t cold enough, or their Pinkberry was, quote, “all melty.” Also, British accent. I’m awaiting the announcement that she’s backing out of her Harry Potter contracts to study lexicography at Oxford. Be still, my heart!

I know, she doesn’t really fit the whole bill for me, what with her non-cartoonish breasts and all. No, but wait until I do my post on Keeley Hazell!

Also, “Herfoine Granger.” How hard was that? That one’s sticking.

-PETE