Some of you may recall that I actually like Coors. And by like Coors, I mean, I prefer Coors to Budweiser. I mean, it’s not that hard: Budweiser tastes to me like it’s filled with fine silt instead of, I don’t know, bubbles. But you all know the problem with Coors: Pete Coors is a raging Republican douche bag. So it’s been hard for me to really get behind Coors. But alas, I conceived a justification! Pete Coors is not just conservative: he’s really conservative. So supporting Coors is not like supporting the moderate republicans who think McCain is fine. It’s like support the wacko conservatives that are supporting Huckabee. Supporting Huckabee contributes to the current rift in the normally phalanx-unified Republican party. Plus, Huckabee is insane and thinks the Constitution should be amended to indicate its origins in God. In other words, any Democrat could be him handily by just not being a raving lunatic. So. By buying Coors, you are actually speeding the decline of the Republican party! And everyone wins. Even the terrorists.
-Shark
14 responses so far ↓
PETE // Feb 19, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Until Old Style becomes available nationwide, those among us who prefer a light “American lager” with both great taste and non-Bible-thumping owners are S.O.L.
PS Old Style rulzzzzzzzzz
Trey // Feb 20, 2008 at 11:25 am
I am still just amazed that the entire Jo-Tel likes such cheap and horrible beer.
Your parties are always good with the huge exception being the beer selection.
b // Feb 20, 2008 at 11:30 am
My old mo’ roommate went to school with one of the Coors children and he was ever so gay–they hooked up often.
p.s
Coors is waaaaay better than Budweiser. Even the name Bud sounds trashy. Coors just sounds refreshing and delightful and makes me want to be at Shasta.
bmk12000 // Feb 20, 2008 at 12:17 pm
pete, i like a sox fan that can appreciate the merits of old style beer.
Shark // Feb 20, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Trey: I’m generally opposed to stocking a party with a keg of “good beer”. I like a nice, hearty, well-brewed beer as much as the next guy. But drinking mass qualities of Bass or Red Hook while playing flip cup just doesn’t work, it’s too heavy. You need something light like Coors that starts to taste precisely like water after about three cups.
Shark // Feb 20, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Speaking of old style beer, how about Olympia?
PETE // Feb 20, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Old Style is the main reason that Wrigley Field rules. If they were to take out the shitty baseball (except when teh Sox are in the house), I would probably go there way more. One also must respect the 4 beers per person per trip rule. Read and learn, Pac Bell Park.
Mike B. // Feb 20, 2008 at 4:11 pm
I call shenanigans on lampooning Huckabee’s religious beliefs. They’re all equally crazy and believe in fairy tales. Singling out one is unfair.
Thrill // Feb 20, 2008 at 6:41 pm
Mike B.: word. I refer you to this recent Quote of the Week, which I think extrapolates well for your argument:
“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”
- Sir Stephen Henry Roberts (1901-1971)
Shark // Feb 21, 2008 at 9:24 am
Thrill, I do believe the above comment was unnecessary considering Mr. Mike B. stated in the comments to that quote that it was one of his favorites…
But regardless, both of your points are well-taken. I would riposte as follows, however: Huckabee is a bigger religious nut than anyone else running. I believe he is significantly worse that the others because he has expressly insinuated that his religious beliefs are not bound by our Constitution’s structure or limitations.
Hip E. // Feb 21, 2008 at 10:46 am
It’s the water!
Hip E. // Feb 21, 2008 at 10:50 am
Mike, I’d say there’s a crucial difference between believing in fairy tales and advocating the position that the U.S. government should be based on the fairy tale book instead of the constitution. Even my man Obama CLAIMS to believe in fairy tales, but I am extremely confident that he would not put fairy tales on equal footing with the founding documents and existing laws of the country. Unlike, say, the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.
Mike B. // Feb 21, 2008 at 1:07 pm
I would say Huckabee is marginally crazier in planning to implement his beliefs, that’s fair.
Amongst the candidates, I’d actually say Romney actually has the most preposterous religious faith, given that he can’t fall back on the absence of concrete evidence (we don’t have too many records from 2000 years ago) in support of his delusions.
PETE // Feb 21, 2008 at 6:13 pm
But Mike B., God REMOVED the horses and iron swords used in the battles fought on American Soil thousands of years before the iron age or horses were ever brought here … to trick us! So that when the Mormon church spent all that money to excavate the sites of the battles, those among us with weak faith would question whether the book was true when none of the excavations found shit. The Book of Mormon is 100% accurate, silly! Also, Native Americans descended from the tribes of Israel, period. Who are you going to believe? The Book, or Big Science with their genes and DNA??
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