THE JO-TEL …believes some of what Nathaniel and John say, but believes England is still our sovreign

(Turd and Goose discussing how to talk to employees when you in charge of them)
Goose:  “Nobody likes it when its anal.”
Turd:  “That’s not what she said.”
Goose: “………”
-Turd

Shark’s post made me think about that stupid show. Not so much the sheer improbability of people taking a 16 year old doctor seriously or how his best friend was a retarded Italian guy who, of course, was so “normal” and so Doog’s connection to being a normal 16 year old that he always […]

Stepmom:  “I would like another teabag.”
Turd:  “That’s what she said.”
Goose and the rest of the family at breakfast:  “…..”

The Goose: “You just have to ease it in.”
Turd: (fighting the impulse. fighting the urge)***
The Goose: “You can’t just cram it in there.”
Turd: (can’t fight it) “That’s what she said.” (release)
The Goose: “……..”
***The Goose has effectively banned me from saying “that’s what she said”, even in the situations that […]

-The other weekend I drove by one of those drive-thru espresso/coffee places. It was yellow, and on the side was a big drawing of the torso and head of a Mexican guy, with the full-on Pancho Villa mustache, sombrero, and poncho. The name of the place was “Beanerinos”.
-That same weekend, I also drove […]

I think I hate bicyclists. Now, this truly pains me to write this post. There are several reasons.
1) Biking is good exercise.
2) Riding a bike is fun.
3) PETE just got hit by a car on his bike.
4) Biking is good for the environment because bikers aren’t driving.
But, sorry I cannot help […]

I bet the reason why they don’t show any Pepe Le Pew cartoons on television anymore is because dude is basically a rapist. At best, a molester.
***
Many thanks to VH1, who could not wait until 2011 to release a version of “I Love the (decade)” for the 00’s. They could just not wait […]

Parents are funny. I think we can all remember parents embarrassing us when we were younger by simply talking to us. Or when they called all drugs “dope” or used phrases like “do you guys smoke the bowl?”. Now, as we get older, it is kind of neat, or sort of […]

Wish I knew what that meant. Hey, my first shitty post! The key is expectations. As in, they must be kept at a minimum. As for a disclaimer, most of my future posts will probably revolve around .gif files. Probably also me complaining about stuff. Stupid shit annoys […]

It’s Funny, It’s a Big Hat, It’s Funny
– Norm McDonald as Burt Reynolds (aka Turd Fergusan) on SNL’s Jeopardy! parody
It is my pleasure to introduce the newest addition to The Jo-tel: Turd Fergusan. You may remember Turd from such blogs as Rehab Allstar, jimrome.com, and Big Naturals. He is married to The […]