THE JO-TEL … wishes it could remember how to change the banner picture.

10. TIE: “Who Am I?” and “Little Drop of Rain”
9. “Do You Hear the People Sing”
8. “Javert’s Suicide”
7. “Bring Him home”
6. “On My Own”
5. “At the End of the Day”
4. “I Dreamed a Dream”
3. “One Day More”
2. “Confrontation”
1. “Red and Black”
Bottom 5:
“Little People”
“Dog Eats Dog”
“A Heart Full of Love”
“Beggars at the [...]

Turd:
If Shark played baseball, stupid ESPN would call him N-Darg.
Thrill:
That would be true regardless of what sport he played, because sportscasters and players are uncreative nimrods.
Shark:
Whatever happened to the days of Sleepy Floyd and Refrigerator Perry? Also, you can’t let players come up with their own nicknames just because you lack the [...]

10. “If I had my choice I would kill every reporter in the world but I am sure we’d be getting reports from hell before breakfast.” –General Sherman
We like to think of our newspapers today as objective, fact reporting entities, except of course for the editorial pages and the god damned liberal media.  But in [...]

Turd, teaching his daughter about the birds and the buttsex retard squirrels:
In the beginning, we were all fish. Okay? Swimming around in the water. And then one day a couple of fish had a retard baby, and the retard baby was different, so it got to live. So Retard Fish goes on to make more [...]

I haven’t posted in a long time.  I’ve been uninspired, unfunny, and unreadable (cue “you’ve always been that way” jokes).  All I can offer you is this clip of dorks playing in the woods.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_ekugPKqFw

-Turd

Do you know what really grinds my gears?  At work there is one of those water jug cooler things that a bunch of people chip in to pay for each month.  It is convenient to have cold, clean water close by especially when the tapwater tastes like a liquid fart.  Anyway, there are maybe 15 [...]

So, basically me and a bunch of people were taken hostage by terrorists.  We were held in a camp that resembled Burlingame Fred Meyer.  I know it was a camp because we were always asked for our papers etc.  They said don’t try to escape because they would kill everyone. After awhile we figured out [...]

The Goose, lying in bed. Turd exits the bathroom.
The Goose: “Will you check to see if one of the dogs pooped in here? Man that reeks.”
Turd: “Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat, was me. 5 minutes ago.”
Being married is fun.

Why does Subway’s “Oven-Roasted Chicken Breast Sandwich” have grill marks?
In other news, despite being a fairly average sports fan, The Goose inexplicably listens to sports radio all the time now.  As in, even when I don’t make her.  That’s one for the (+) column.
-Turd

I successfully lobbied my indoor soccer team to change their stupid name to the “Busty Nurses”***, the idea being when the other team saw us, they would see we were neither busty nor nurses, thus allowing free admission to their dome.  My enthusiasm has been abated though because now it looks like the league people [...]