66% of THE JO-TEL is “losing it Scalia style”

I used to be able to pen top ten lists in my sleep. It was my métier. These days, for whatever reason, they just don’t come to me. Here is one of my better top ten list from the days of the old jo-tel: top ten craziest bitches of all time. […]

10. The Brazilian Rain Forest
9. Deiter Dengler
8. The Battle of Algiers
7. NFL quarterbacks (TIE)
7. The NBA Slam Dunk Contest (TIE)
6. The Civil War
5. Nanook of the North
4. Animals of the deep sea
3. The French Revolution and its aftermath
2. Poor people
1. Dinosaurs
-Shark

Watching MTV2 right now (as in, like four weeks ago when I started this post):
See the latest videos from today’s [positive adjective] bands.
Thrice - “Digital Sea”
What? Thrice? The lyrics to this go “Drowning … in a digital sea.” This is terrible. This is MTV2 (with emphasis, TWO!). What the fuck? I need to say something. […]

As some of you know, before the sleek jo-tel.com, we used a platform called editme, which didn’t 100% suck, but definitely failed to effectively filter spam email in the comments section, which actually was cool because it was a communal comments section at the end of the page, but, again, toward the end it served […]

I can do a serviceable Woody Allen impression.  The best I've seen (by far) though is Dana Carvey.  (Bonus points if anyone can find the SNL clip on youtube or somewhere. I cannot.)  But that's an impression of Woody Allen. Here are what I think are the top five performances in a Woody Allen movie. 
10. […]

5. Apocalypse Now Redeux-deux 4. About Schit 3. Duck Poop 2. Eyes Wide Shit 1. Citizen Crap
-Shark

5. Ratatatouille
4. Snow White Stripes
3. Peter and the Wolf Parade
2. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and Cake
1. PinnochiOOIOO

10. Adhering to Rakim’s Rules of Order
9. The Straw MC
8. Modus Ponens [”If Master P, then Q-Tip. Master P. Therefore Q-Tip.”]
7. Introducing Xzibit A
6. Playing Doctor’s Advocate
5. Asking for a Point of Kweli-fication
4. Innuendolemite
3. Reductio Adrock Absurdum
2. Begging the ?uestlove
1. The Ad Homineminem Attack
-The Quail

5. Post-Rock Ergo Propter Hoc
4. The Twilight Sad Hominem attack
3. Archers of Lincoln-Douglas
2. Ad hoc Party
1. Cogito Ergo Sum 41
-Shark

5.
4.
3.
2. The Penal Colony
1.
-Shark