THE JO-TEL is going to drink its way to Dover

Inasmuch as you, Shark, and you, Patsy, have committed yourselves to each other in marriage, and have joined hands and exchanged sacred vows in the presence of these witnesses; by the authority vested in me - and more importantly by the strength of your love - I now pronounce you Husband and Wife. You […]

Any guy who is dating a girl who I am also dating, is a douchebag.
-Hip E.

Writing blog posts is time-consuming and hard.  But if I had the time, and I remembered anything about the 80’s, this is probably the kind of blog post I would write:
 
           Lacy Underall, then and now
- Hip E.
P.S.  I totally Thrilled myself this week, but don’t miss my return to long-form blogging from last Friday:  […]

Vol. 1 was just a collection of throwaway observations mainly meant to be funny.
Vol. 2 has a bit more of a focus: writing a good (or fixing a bad) profile. Having been on the site for a month, I feel like I’m pretty much in the swing of things. And, at this point, I consider […]

Last Wednesday I went to Kristin Cavallari’s 21st birthday party.
Well, I should be clear.
Her birthday was January 5. That night she evidently partied somewhere.
THEN, last weekend, she went to Vegas and had another birthday party.
So this was her third, at least.
It must be weird to be a celebrity and have people you don’t know throw […]

Okay, so don’t ask why, but recently I’ve been reading a lot about pick-up lines. I’ve been going through several books, and this one book I found is pretty much the new “ripping at your mind” for me. (Linda, shout out. I tried to find that post but couldn’t. The old Jo-Tel is just so […]

“You should post about hot chicks more.”
-Pandorocker Condon.
I used to post about hot chicks a lot. I sort of stopped. The whole Lohan thing has really disillusioned me (I don’t think I’ll ever be fully prepared mentally to discuss the events of early this morning), despite the fact that it’s pretty clear at this point […]

In college, I never went to San Francisco except on a bus with a bunch of nascent yuppie sorority chicks. I had seen parts of the city but I had no idea how I got there or where Sinbad’s was in relation to the Trap Door and the Iron Horse. When I graduated and matriculated […]

The Jo-Tel: staying on the cutting edge of teenage breezies. Both of these girls are older that Alia Shawkat.
1) Chelsea Tyler, aka Chelsea Tallarico, daughter of Steven Tyler.

She’s the one on the left. Basically … yeah.
I’m feeling good about this one, if only because Steven Tyler has a great track record of turning his hot […]

Thanks to Rochester, NY resident, Maupow for bringing to my attention this Sports Guy article that references this Perez Hilton post about The Hills Laguna Beach Season 1’s LC having a sex tape coming out.
The Puma’s day was just made.
As was mine. Sports Guy writes:
All right, I don’t know what’s more exciting: Our new ace […]