THE JO-TEL … illegal blog downfield

10. Blitzen Trapper Keeper
9. ___
8. ___
7. ___
6. ___
5. ___
4. ___
3. ___
2. ___
1. ___
-Johnny D

It’s Funny, It’s a Big Hat, It’s Funny
– Norm McDonald as Burt Reynolds (aka Turd Fergusan) on SNL’s Jeopardy! parody
It is my pleasure to introduce the newest addition to The Jo-tel: Turd Fergusan. You may remember Turd from such blogs as Rehab Allstar, jimrome.com, and Big Naturals. He is married to The […]

Here’s something. You know in a dream, sometimes you talk to people. This morning in my dream, a girl said something to me, and I was about to answer her, but right then I realized I was kind of waking up. I had one foot in the dream and one foot in my bedroom, and […]

Just after getting off the 101 in Windsor this morning, I was cut off by a pickup truck that pulled out from the southbound freeway exit ramp without yielding (it’s a 40mph road, so this is generally a bad thing to do, considering everyone drives 50).
I was pretty sure the signature Dale Earnhardt […]

I used to be able to pen top ten lists in my sleep. It was my métier. These days, for whatever reason, they just don’t come to me. Here is one of my better top ten list from the days of the old jo-tel: top ten craziest bitches of all time. […]

Seriously though, I am dumb. What else would explain the following series of events.
Instead of taking a cab to the airport on my way to LA to get married (no, that’s not why I’m dumb) I developed this temporary phobia of taking a cab to the airport and decided to drive with Hip […]

The traffic jam scene from Godard’s Weekend. Patsy says, “It makes me want to die.”

This one is from Turd Furgeson. His mom was asks him and his wife, The Goose, the temperature at which they keep their thermostat. The Goose responds:
“We do 69, if Turd lets me.”

Photo: Dalton/AP Photo
That headline is the title of this incredible article from Rolling Stone. It’s an eye-opening read for anyone not super familiar with the ins and outs of how the WOD has been utterly mismanaged since its inception (which, I’m guessing, is everyone reading this).
It’s not just a “Hey, the WOD […]

Coachella was good. Of course, it happened a long time ago. It was really hot. We swam a lot in the pool and drank a lot in the hot tub. I distinctly remember riding a garland-adorned chariot into the sun.
Instead of actually going to Coachella, I stayed back at […]