THE JO-TEL … illegal blog downfield

http://mcsweeneys.net/2008/2/20dargenio.html
-Shark

Somewhere in the midst of a 102 degree temperature, a splitting headache, and chills there exists a happy place. Let me describe this place for you. As you sink into your mattress and lie motionless for a few minutes, your body, at a higher temperature than usual, will heat up the air beneath […]

Some of you may recall that I actually like Coors. And by like Coors, I mean, I prefer Coors to Budweiser. I mean, it’s not that hard: Budweiser tastes to me like it’s filled with fine silt instead of, I don’t know, bubbles. But you all know the problem with Coors: Pete […]

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This conversation is not funny so much as it is a gritty and unflinching example of a Sunday afternoon jo-tel conversation.
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PATSY (to Hip E.): You owe me five dollars.
HIP E.: I’ll just deduct it from your electricity bill.
PATSY: Okay, so electricity minus five.
SHARK: I’ll take that spread.
THRILL: That’s what she said.
SHARK: Should be, “that’s […]

Vol. 1 was just a collection of throwaway observations mainly meant to be funny.
Vol. 2 has a bit more of a focus: writing a good (or fixing a bad) profile. Having been on the site for a month, I feel like I’m pretty much in the swing of things. And, at this point, I consider […]

Hip E. has game. It’s a very unique and ineffective form of game, but it is game nonetheless. As I was daydreaming at work, I thought: what if there were an Olympic games, held in San Francisco, where courageous competitors from all nations would participate in events involving various facets of Hip E.’s […]

Truth or Dare is fundamentally flawed. Let me back up. Recently, my social life has regressed to the second-grade sexual exploration in the bathroom (with girls) phase– but with more beer. So, it is not surprising that Truth or Dare has morphed into the game-of-choice/ default ice-breaker in many situations. Long […]

Aquirre, with monkey.

“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”
- Sir Stephen Henry Roberts (1901-1971)