THE JO-TEL …believes some of what Nathaniel and John say, but believes England is still our sovreign

Why … in Un chien andalou , are a man’s efforts to maul his lady impeded once he notices that he is dragging (a) two priests, (b) two grand pianos, and (c) those pianos loaded with two bloodied donkey carcasses? … what do bloody asses have to do with sexual inhibition? Oh, wait.
- Ben […]

The opening lines to the Pixies’ “Debaser” as I understood that until two weeks ago:
Got me a movie, I want you to know
Slicing a bible, I want you to know
Feeling so groovy, I want you to know
Don’t know about you, but I am Bu-SHEK!
Andelusia

The actual lines, with Bunuel reference:
Got me a movie, I want you […]

or, TaxCut2007, Konono No.1, and You.

Pink Floyd The Wall poster I got for my 18th birthday from my dorm roommate, Vince.

I got sick on Wednesday from the strain I’ve been placing on my body lately. It has something to do with booze, a little to do with work, and a lot to do with […]

Undeterred by the rain or by the credible reports that Liars’ frontman Angus Andrews had severely injured his back, I went to the Liars concert at Slim’s. Also, we all know that, as a music venue, Slim’s blows chupacabras. So I was also undeterred by that, because Liars are one of my favorite […]

If I have a “Hey Crackhead” this is probably it. …..I said if.
_____________________
Okay, fellow denizens of the depths, keep this in mind: this is the worst possible cave scenario. But it is a scenario nonetheless. As such, it must be addressed candidly and with a particular mind towards our respective spelunking limitations - […]

This weekend I went back home to LA to visit with my family, including my grandpa visiting from New York. Pretty uneventful weekend right up when my mom asked me if I was an alcoholic. It all started on Monday. It was me, mom, dad, and grandpa in the house. It was the afternoon and […]

A thought I had to myself in considering an email I had sent to a m.c contact earlier in the evening:
“Did I actually fucking use the word ‘accompany’? Did I actually fucking do that?”
I’ve really got a long way to go here.
-PETE

Last Wednesday I went to Kristin Cavallari’s 21st birthday party.
Well, I should be clear.
Her birthday was January 5. That night she evidently partied somewhere.
THEN, last weekend, she went to Vegas and had another birthday party.
So this was her third, at least.
It must be weird to be a celebrity and have people you don’t know throw […]

The picture of the week this week is the cover of Can’s album Monster Movie because, as you can see, it’s badass.

Yoo doo right.

Hip E., Shark, Patsy, and Kristin are driving to the airport. Hip E. is farting.
PATSY: Can’t you hold your farts in?
HIP E.: No.
SHARK: Don’t you know how? Just put your cheeks together and don’t blow.